PHASE 1: TENSION BUILDING PHASE:   (This is the "RAIN" stage)

 Increased tension, anger, blaming and arguing.

Minor incidents may occur when the abused mate is able to sense the abusers edginess. The abused mate will try and calm the abuser, using whatever they can think of that might work. The abused mate feels that they are fighting a losing battle, there is not much that they can do. The abuser knows that their behavior is wrong and now fears that the abused mate will leave. The abuser becomes more jealous and possessive. The minor incidents now become increased and the tension becomes unbearable. Sometimes the abused mate knows that there is more to come, (Phase 2) and will provoke and attack in order to get it over with or are left with a feeling that they have caused reason for punishment.

PHASE 2: THE ACUTE BATTERING INCIDENT:  (This is the "THUNDER" stage)

 Battering, hitting, slapping, kicking, choking and use of objects or weapons. Sexual abuse, verbal abuse or verbal threats.

Discharging of tension that was built up from (Phase 1) the abuser now tries to justify their behavior with something that the abused mate may have done. This stage is not as long lived as the (Phase 1 or Phase 3), it can last 2 - 24 hours because the abuser knows how to prolong the battering without killing the abused victim. When questioned, the abuser won't or claims not to remember much, however the victim or the abused can remember all the actions in detail. It is not uncommon for the abuser to wake the abused or the household up from sleeping to beat or victimize the victim. The anticipation and trauma of being abused causes severe psychological stress for the abused and their families. Often the victims either can't eat or over-eat, sleeping becomes difficult which results in constant fatigue. Headaches, upset stomach and nervousness are also symptoms. The abused victim will often isolated themselves from family and friends several days at a time. Showing signs of depression, nervousness, helplessness and sadness.  

PHASE 3: KINDNESS, FORGIVENESS AND LOVING BEHAVIOR:  (This is the "SUNSHINE" stage)

 Kind and gentle, denial or minimization of the battering, makes promises to change, apologizes profusely and may try to help their victim.

This stage is welcomed by both abuser and victim. The abuser knows that he has gone and went too far and tries to make it up to the abused victim. The abusers making up is a period of unusual calm with words of being sorry, begging for forgiveness and promises of never doing harm or being angry again. Signs of sincerity are shown and the abuser believes that they are in control of themselves. The victim falls into the trap of believing while also taking on the feeling and responsibility of the abuser as well as the abusers behavior. This is a very vulnerable stage as the victim feels love by the abuser. The abuser is now seen as a wonderful, loving and caring individual. Words of recognition and praise reminds the victim of how important she/he is important to the abuser. The abuser is extremely charming while being extremely manipulative.